Music: Muse vs Lady Gaga - Romance is Running Out

No update for a while because there was no update for a while. I was having myself busy and that's a good thing. Again, probably there would be minor and or major change with my future plan, but since I'm a joyful and horribly phlegmatic person, then I think everything will be just fine. It's really hard to stress out when I'm just with myself. I was stressing out by exam and a lot of thing in this world because everyone else around me feel the same way. But now... no. It's kinda hard to worry about simply everything when I can wake up whenever I want and doing almost everything I want to do.

Lately, I guess what I currently feel is love. Yeah, that weird feeling. Then it twists me. And clench me. But it's good. It's like drink some cups of coffee and enjoy the bitter and the caffeine. Love is such a great feeling, no?

Song: Shayne Orok - Will You Be Mine

Dear you,

Yeah you. The beloved you. The one who betrays my dream. It used to be 'our' dream and this kind of dream is not stupid dream like being a princess or something; it's about serious dream like getting higher hierarchy in the society, being a better human being for another human being, and make serious improvement in this country's teaching stuffs. This is kinda weird since I almost have no way to talk to you because I'm no longer a member. I know some people who still, though. They're still happy by your side. Probably because they're younger than me. Probably because they just like me back when I know nothing about you.

I was hoping. I was wishing for so many wonders that I always, always knew that you would do it. But what did you do? You rob people and smiling upon that. And I saw it. I saw it with my own eyes and I saw how people talk about it, and I saw how people runaway from you, and I saw how people leave you by saying that you're not competent. Well in fact, you are not competent. You're just not. You're a young positive soul and I thought I could trust you. And I liked you so this is just sad.

I was rely on you by years. Probably more than half of my current years of life, but now...? Now look what you've done. Look what are you doing. You still rob people. My friends and I, the ones who feel betrayed by you, have found our way to escape and live our own life but you just there. You're still there, we don't know how long, and probably we don't care anymore. 

I trusted you. I liked you. But I no longer trust you.

You rob people. And you still smile because you know nobody knows.

Now I hate you.

Song: Pet Shop Boys - Heart

I do misunderstanding my existence that apparently stands between me for myself and me for all the human in the world. Like that basic simple economy for the junior's first grade: there was this human picture, half of him grab some moneys and half of him get someone's random hand. A hand without body. So, yeah, apparently we're hanging between that. Or more likely like that pretty words that I found somewhere on dA: we're nothing but bloods in our vessels, in search of make us alive.

Of course the answer would be God, anyway.

It appears that I'm going to have prom night in 9 days and so on and so on. Unfortunately I made a little progress this holiday and again, it's my very problem as a phlegmatic person. Well I guess I'll just do this nice and slow.

Song : Taylor Swift - Untouchable | Richard Wagner - Ride of the Valkyries | Young Artists for Haiti - Wavin' Flag
This photo was taken about one or two days after my school announce who made the first National Examination. Thank Goodness, I was one of those who made it. That day, I went to school to take some papers that tell me my score and what to do after all this thing happens. It was weird yet beautiful day. The sky was pretty clear and I went there around 9 am. I saw my juniors on their classes and I talked to a lot of friend, the graduated ones and the not-yet graduate ones. I was also lost my key so I was almost unable to go home and so on and that day was the last day I went to school. Until today, I haven't come back to school again. I took the photo from 3rd floor, when my physic teacher who also happen to be vice-headmaster for student thing stuff told me to send an example of graduation letter paper to some computer dudes in the 3rd floor. See that roof? That's the new building, probably built using our, the third grade guys, money. We'll never use that building since that one will be done when we're no longer student, but I think that's okay. One day I'm gonna back there as a proud university student. I know I can, and I will.

I'm that kind of person who love to deny the truth that I need to face just because I'm lazy. I'm so full of myself if I think about it, more than anyone else I've ever met. That's a sad truth, but I know I'll change it.

Today I played Perfect World, a MMORPG. I got wolves as pet there. They can attack when we need to fight and they can also ruffle their ears by their back feet and somehow I really like it. There are much more effective pets like the bee one or the rock-giant one, but I think I'm going to have a lot of wolf pet because I simply love watch them run, bite, and acting wolf-like.

My usual duty at night is locking all the house's doors and tonight, when I do so, I can smell night and I realize that I've forgot how much I love night smell. That's why I wake all night long. That's why I prefer to watch movie midnight. That's why I'm going home late just to study National Examination stuff. That's why I don't mind when I need to hang out with my friends up to late. Because I simply love what I can feel out there, in the night, in the loneliness.

Psychologically, I kinda understand why the glittery scene of night and its smell are a real something for me. Back when I was kid, I used to ride by midnight to Jakarta or Bandung. And I always like how does it feel, when everyone else on the vehicle are asleep and I'm the only one who awake, and it's gonna be just me and the lights, the stars, the roads, the car that flashes at far. I swear, once I grown up and I can have my own car, I'll ride the interstate road in the middle of the night just for fun.

Because I love it.

Music: 
Andrea Bocelli feat. Sarah Brightman - Con Te Partiro | Orange Range - Asterisk | Keane - Bedshaped
Laruku - My Heart Draws a Dream | Marie Digby - Say It Again | Natalie Imbruglia - Shiver
Today's fresh photo. This noon was clear and a bit cloudy but sunny. I always love sky for no reason because it's so high, so huge, so lonely. Whenever I look up, it always there. It somehow keeps me distracted from my grounded world for a while.

For some reasons, little beauty around my small world always mesmerized me. It's like there's always a little lost beauty whenever I look somewhere; on the road, on a shop, in front of my house, on the internet, on a clear night sky. And when I see them, when I feel them, I don't want to let them go. About a year ago or half, I got my own camera. Just another cheap pocket camera but I learned a lot by using that camera. Now it's broken and I use my phone's camera to capture the visual interesting thing.

Imagine if we combine the high sky and music. Probably we can fly for a while. Or perhaps feel blue and wonder whether we can share this short moment with someone.

My Mum isn't in this country and her cell phone, of course, dead. Today I got a lot of call from people who think that my mum's phone somehow lost or she left it somewhere or she change the number. Well she haven't change the number since like 10 years ago, so I understand those people's reaction. Mum must be really busy. And now I need to be a vice-mum for a while. Which is not fun.

P.S.: My feet is itchy. Bad.

Music: Beethoven - Ode to Joy
This is photo taken using my W395 in front of my house by a sunset. No photo-editing at all 'cause it already looks that pretty. Fonts and stuffs made using Sotosop Photoshop.


I need to keep track of my life—and I think I've fail a lotta blog. So there it is, I hope I won't fail this one. Because this is the very first entry, maybe I should introduce myself. Maybe.

Okay, so you know me. At least you know my name. I'm gonna be 20 years old on July 20th, 2012. Well let's hope the world isn't end yet by that year. About a month ago, I graduate from high school—though I haven't receive all those letters that tell me that now I've done my 12 years education. Let's say I'm in the middle of holiday and I currently looking for a university.

I wanna go overseas—I always wanna go there. It's a big dream here, probably, because almost everyone reacts in weird yet abnormal way when I say I wanna study overseas. But I will and that's what I'm currently working on my IELTS and portfolio.

I'm a phlegmatic person and that means I'm really really really a joyful person. Not very good because I just go wherever my heart wants me too. Like now, my holiday world is filled with fun, fun, and fun. Writing, drawing, reading, designing—kinda crappy and need to arrange my life more. For God's sake, I almost 18!

In the house that I share with a father, a mother, two brothers, and two sisters, I got a lot of pet. Starts from the not-really pet one for me like fish and turtle (they're not really pet because they pretty much doing nothing but breath and eat and flapping) to the cuties: hamsters.

I'm a weirdo eldest sister who gave name 'Romeo' and 'Juliet' for a pair of new hamster in the house about three months ago. Romeo married her (of course, what do you expect?) and then Juliet pregnant and then she had 6 kids. Kids—what's the name of hamster's kid in English? Cub? Okay, it's probably cub. Again, as the eldest, I need to name them for the sake of our family.

So I give them names just like their parents, which is taken from Shakespeare's tragedy dramas. The 6 kids names are Titus, Timon, Macbeth, Hamlet, Othello, and Coriolanus. In about a week, Juliet is dead. In about a couple of weeks, Cori has gone and Titus is dead becaus the new mother, Cathy (yes, from Wuthering Heights), eat Titus in his face. Wow. Hamster is such a creature.

Well, probably that's all. It's horribly unimportant of course, but I do like hamsters. Because they got this beady eyes and funny nose (or mouth, I can't really tell) and they're cute. They're so cute. Have a nice day, Peeps.